dark af

Ptsd

He is laughing at me.

I don’t know why.

30 years of sickness

Makes me want to die.

He creeps up on me in my darkest moments

And steals my sunshine so there is no contentment

I wonder what goes through his mind to hate me so much? It’s black.

I am a shell of a person

That no-one can touch

An outline of a dead body.

My pulse is still beating,

but I’m no longer eating.

Breathe. Nope.

A leech of light

I can no longer fight

Something has to be done

But he finds it fun…

Stop. Laughing. At. Me.

The darkness he loves

The light he loves

But he just takes and takes

Who else might he have raped?

30 years of him since I was a young child

To the point of being sick

I used to dance and sing,

But now my spirit is mild.

He laughs.

Love and Language

Love and language

Think alike

They keep you up all through the night

Dreams of words and fairytales

Swirl around your head,

In a dark, dark veil

Love and language

Have much to tell

If we put our heads and hearts together

We can find light through hell.

Habits

Pink Lemonade

It goes to my head

Our missing peace,

The tears we’ve shed

The staff are busy

With people who need them

but my nicotine habit

is what I crave from them.

The voices in my head,

know everything about me.

It would drive me crazy

but I’m struggling to see

My soul is laid bare,

but there is nothing to see

For now I am empty

They’ve taken everything from me

‘Time to start new’

we’re my mothers words

A new blank page

With no-one to serve.